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Sorpresas en el Mar (Surprises at Sea)
At last report, our heroes have defeated El Pirata's esbirros - except for one minor problem. El Pirata now has a pistol pointed straight at El Tigre Azul's head! As the gun is pointed at his head, everyone begins to realise that all four ships have slowly crashed into one another, setting up a potentially disastrous battle scene! Things look bleak for our heroic luchador ''and his compatriots... ...and then another complication wafts the heroes' way - quite literally! El Pirata calls out: ''¡Oye, Sabaco! ¡Muéstrales tus poderes socio! (Hey, Sabaco! Show them your powers, partner!) Just as he says that, a man surrounded by the Fuego Azul emerges from the booth containing the steering wheel for Fuerte II. This man with more-Latino-than-Latino features (including the stereotypical moustache of the era), called Sabaco, is dressed in a very elegant buccaneer's outfit - double-breasted white shirt, black boots, black cape, black jacket, black trousers, and black tricorne hat - with one very notable exception: there are rips around his hairy armpits (inclusive of sweat stains in the surrounding shirt fabric). Upon close examination his armpits - which obviously haven't been washed in several weeks - are dripping with 5 beads of sweat per armpit. These 10 sweat beads drop to the deck on either side of him and form transparent muscle-bound minions with a green tinge. As this is happening, green armpit fumes emerge from Sabaco's armpits, and it's at this point that it becomes the most obvious why he was nicknamed Sabaco. He addresses the heroes mockingly: ¡Jajajajaja! ¡Mis Esbirros del Sudor a Uds. les va a derrotar! (Hahahahaha! My Sweat Minions will defeat you!) As he says this, his green armpit fumes waft the heroes' way. All of them endure the olfactory assault - all except Señor Blanco, who is so overpowered by the smell that he finds it difficult to concentrate! The fighting begins anew, and not altogether promisingly for our heroes. A Sweat Minion leaps out at Domina Magnífica, but she pirouettes out of his way, declaring "No man's sweat will ever besmirch me!" Yet another leaps at her, but she's able to jump onto the mast just in time to dodge him. El Tigre Azul is only half as fortunate - even as he elbows the gun out of El Pirata's hand and sends it flying through the air, another Sweat Minion forcibly grabs him by his left arm. Señor Blanco is even less fortunate, for two reasons: 1) when one Sweat Minion lunged at him, he dodges, flips the Sweat Minions legs around, and sends him falling to the ground, whereupon the impact turns the Sweat Minion into a green acid splash that burns a hole through the top deck and dissolves a small portion of the bottom deck; and 2) another Sweat Minion lunges at La Bruja with the intention of tackling and choking her, but Señor Blanco puts himself in harm's way, and the Sweat Minion knocks him down forcefully and begins to choke the life out of him. Domina Magnífica experiences some of the worst of the initial attacks - whilst El Tigre Azul is fortunate enough to escape the grasp of the Sweat Minion holding onto him and jump over the arms of two other Sweat Minions attempting to clothesline him, she dodges yet another Sweat Minion's attempt to lift and drop her and she plunges her knife into him, but she soon finds herself screaming "¡Ayyyyy!" as the acid splash resulting from the explosion of the Sweat Minion burns the back of her clothes, the area of her back exposed by the hole, and a clump of her hair. This is to say nothing of the fact that she throws another knife at another Sweat Minion attempting to leap at her, but the knife partially dissolves and the remaining acid splash reaches part of the mast and sail but mainly dissolves part of the deck and drips down to dissolve part of the keel. Finally, La Bruja falls to the ground choking after another Sweat Minion leaps at her and puts his hands around her throat. The heroes fight back, but they're not entirely successful. Señor Blanco manages to lift up and kick the Sweat Minion who's attempting to choke him and then he leaps to La Bruja's side afterward, but the acid splash from the Sweat Minion's burst creates a gaping hole in Fuerte I. Domina Magnífica: 1) manages to stabilise her acid damage and the stab wound she incurred previously, all whilst a clump of her hair falls to the ground; 2) zeroes in on Sabaco, angrily declaring to the villain "You cost me part of my hair! do you know how much my clothes and my hair cost?", at which point he simply shrugs; and 3) lunges forward at him with a knife in her hand, only to have Sabaco create two new Sweat Minions to protect him, one of whom bursts, resulting in the acid splash partly searing a layer of her skin and causing her to scream, "¡Aaaaa!" in exquisite agony. Meanwhile, Señor Blanco is treated to further distraction and disgust when El Pirata produces a gust of wind that directs more of Sabaco's stench at him. Whilst Señor Blanco is driven to olfactory distraction, La Bruja gets out of her potentially fatal choke-hold by flying and rapidly spinning her would-be Sweat Minion assassin util he's flung from her onto Fuerte I below; however, he creates a Sweat-Minion-shaped hole on impact, and the increased kinetic energy from said impact causes the acid splash to burn a hole straight through the bottom of the ship, leaving La Bruja no choice but to fly to Señor Blanco and air-lift him from the rapidly-sinking Fuerte I. To make matters both better and worse, El Tigre Azul body-slams El Pirata, causing him to further break - and fall through - the weakened deckboards of Fuerte II and crack the keel on impact in such a way that the ship starts slowly taking water. As these events unfold, Octo-Mantis makes a sudden appearance. In a stunning feat worthy of the finest pirates, he flings himself onto the top deck of Fuerte I, tentacle-hops his way across to Fuerte II, and attempts to slap Sabaco with his myriad tentacles; however, Sabaco's remaining protective Sweat Minion positions himself in front of Sabaco, taking the damage and bursting in such a way that Octo-Mantis takes painful acid splash damage! However, being British at heart, Octo-Mantis says nothing. Meanwhile, Sabaco heats things up aboard Fuerte II. He takes two cigars out of his pocket and touches them to his armpits and uses armpit sweat he's modified as an explosive chemical agent to light their fuses, at which point he telekinetically launches them at the lower deck through the largest hole in Fuerte II. The consequent explosion causes the lower deck to burst open, resulting in massive water ingress which causes Fuerte II to start to sink. Immediately thereafter Sabaco uses the railing of Fuerte II to flip onto El Orgullo del Presidente I. As Fuerte II is slowly meeting a gruesome fate, Domina Magnífica is contending with two very determined Sweat Minions, one of whom she unsuccessfully attempts to persuade to betray his patrón. She dodges out of the way of a leaping Sweat Minion, who then hits and further dissolves the bottom deck of Fuerte II, causing it to sink even more rapidly. Seeing the proverbial writing on the wall, Domina Magnífica leaps over to El Orgullo del Presidente I, but not before another Sweat Minion grabs onto her in mid-flight and pins her to the deck. In mock gratitude, she says, "Thanks for helping me to get to my location faster, idiota!" The determined Sweat Minion replies, "I may be an esbirro, but I am no idiota!" Domina Magnifica attempts to reason with him: "You live to explode! Why are you just following your patrón and dying, instead of living your own life?" Seeing through her ploy, the more-intelligent-than-expected Sweat Minion replies, "Nice try! I gladly die for my patrón!" Refusing to give up, Domina Magnifica attempts another angle: "The Fuego Azul is strong in Gran Colombia. You can be powerful in your own right!" Rejecting her point of view as ridiculous, he retorts, "I am made from my patrón, so I die for my patrón!" Seeing that the dialogue is fruitless, Domina Magnífica eventually gives up. El Tigre Azul also realises he has precious little time to leave Fuerte II, but a fiercely determined Sweat Minion attempts to stand in his way. The Sweat Minion tries to plunge him into the water, but he successfully dodges out of the way of the Sweat Minion and executes a running jump and a subsequent forward flip onto El Orgullo del Presidente I. Caught completely off-guard by El Tigre Azul's deft manoeuvres, the Sweat Minion falls through the biggest hole in Fuerte II and crashes onto the bottom deck, bursting and dissolving the last of it as Fuerte II finally sinks out of sight. In a mysterious twist of fate, the remaining Sweat Minions and El Pirata manage to escape to El Orgullo del Presidente II as well, complicating matters further for our heroes. As always, however, the heroes come up with clever plans when backed into a corner! Señor Blanco asks La Bruja a favour: "Get me to El Presidente so I can protect him!", at which point she flies him over to El Orgullo del Presidente I. Meanwhile, Domina Magnífica spots El Presidente on the ship and psychically tells him, "Presidente, get out of here annd get some soap, pronto!" El Presidente disappears and suddenly reappears with soap and a bucket of water. Señor Blanco then exclaims, "Time for a clean sweep!", telekinetically picks up the bucket of water and the soap, and holds Sabaco firmly in place whilst thoroughly washing his armpits! Afterward he declares to Sabaco, "You are clean now but still dirty with crime!" As an extra-added safety measure, La Bruja casts a mystic blast at Sabaco, causing him to cry out, "¡Uy!" in phenomenal pain, leap upward, and fall to the ground unconscious. The remaining Sweat Minions then pop out of existence without a trace. Unfortuately, however, El Tigre Azul's own clever plan is foiled by El Pirata's weather-based wiles! He lobs a cannonball at El Pirata with his greater-than-great strength, but El Pirata slows the cannonball down with a strong gust of wind, causing the cannonball to stop in mid-air and then fall to the ground with an intense force, poking holes in both the top and bottom decks and causing El Orgullo del Presidente I to start taking water. Meanwhile, Fuerte I quietly sinks into the sea, unnoticed by hero and villain alike. Deliberately remaining unnoticed until now, Dr. Mantis (who has returned to human form and jumped aboard ship unobtrusively) comes out from hiding on El Orgullo del Presidente I and greets his "colleagues" with, "All right, chaps? How's it going?"; however, his presence is less than welcomed. Señor Blanco is the first to openly express his disdain, declaring, "Things are fine. We don't need any gringos to help!" Feigning hurt and indignation, Dr. Mantis replies, "How rude!" In response, Domina Magnífica casts a scornful stone gaze at him. As this side discussion is taking place, Sabaco starts coming to. Remembering the two-fold problem of a sinking ship and stubborn villains, Señor Blanco orders, "Deal with these traidores! I will keep the ship from sinking!" He proceeds to the lower deck, keeping El Orgullo del Presidente I afloat with his telekinetic power. Meanwhile, El Pirata isn't going out without a fight! He tries to shift the wind downward to keep La Bruja in place, but she uses her mystic shield to protect herself against his dastardly wind; she then casts a mystic blast at him, causing him to leap into the air and fall down, ending the wind and injuring El Pirata but not quite knocking him unconscious. She points at him mockingly, shouting, "That is what you get for crossing La Bruja!" As El Pirata is getting his just desserts, Sabaco is taking a beating of his own! For starters, El Tigre Azul punches him in the face, knocking him unconscious again. As if to rub salt(water) on the wound, Dr. Mantis turns himself into Octo-Mantis again, declares, "It's time for a bath!", and plunges Sabaco into the water several times so as to prevent any sweat from forming. As if to underscore the point, Octo-Mantis attempts to get Domina Magnífica by remarking with a hopeful smile, "He's working for Spain anyway. Surely we can agree to hate Spain?" Domina Magnífica ignores his devious overtures and shouts to him, "Hold him under!", to which he retorts, "Hold him under? But that would be uncivilised!" As Octo-Mantis is giving Sabaco an intense bath, Domina Magnífica privately confers with El Presidente, asking him, "Want to get some reinforcements?" El Presidente laconically replies, "Leave it to me." As Octo-Mantis brings Sabaco back onto the ship, Domina Magnífica throws a knife at Sabaco, causing him to bleed to death; unfortunately, however, as Sabaco's dying his blood is mixing with an unforeseen trace amount of armpit sweat, the mélange from which drips onto the ship and starts dissolving it at an alarming rate! Not noticing this at first, Domina Magnífica orders the group, "Feed him to the fishes!" Being the first to notice the immediate danger, however, Señor Blanco abandons his efforts to keep El Orgullo del Presidente I afloat, back-flips onto the ledge, and declares, "Time to deal with traidores!" El Presidente reappears with the mysterious captain of Fuerte I, whom Señor Blanco and La Bruja suspected was actually on the side of Gran Colombia. However, before they can engage in any idle speculation, El Presidente transports himself, the heroes, Dr. Mantis, and El Pirata onto El Orgullo del Presidente II. When they arrive on the deck of El Orgullo del Presidente II, Señor Blanco wastes no time dispensing with the final traidor, El Pirata. He emphatically declares, "Time to finish the job with this scum!", knocking El Pirata out with a palm to the head as he makes his statement. He then turns to El Presidente, saying, "Let us not let this ship come to harm!" As if to respond to Señor Blanco's concerns, the mysterious captain of Fuerte I divests himself of his disguises and reveals himself to be Lieutenant Muñoz, the former drill instructor for El Tigre Azul! El Tigre Azul is very pleasantly surprised to see him; however, before any pleasantries can be exchanged, the heroes agree that El Pirata needs to be brought to justice. Dr. Mantis returns to human form and agrees to revive him, but Señor Blanco insists on holding El Pirata in order to ensure that he doesn't escape. As Dr. Mantis revives El Pirata, Muñoz gives El Pirata a stern lecture before El Presidente teleports them both to a special underground prison cell at an undisclosed location in Tenochtitlán. As if to emphasize El Pirata's betrayal and resultant new existence as a non-citizen of Gran Colombia, Muñoz thunders at him, "In my country we have a name for you - idiota! You will be placed in a special prison cell underground where you will have no effect on the weather!" El Presidente teleports them away to the cell, returns shortly after, teleports ''El Orgullo del Presidente II -'' with all hands - to Yucatán Harbour, and returns the heroes and Dr. Mantis to Tenochtitlán, where they await their next adventure. They know not what the adventure will be... THE END